sexism

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Added a post  to  , sexism

Originally Posted on March 20, 2019

In this society, women are expected to live up to a man’s standards of what a “real” woman is. As time goes on many women are defying these sexist standards. You would think that in 2019 people wouldn’t be so bothered by multifaceted women, but this is still an issue. Insecure and sexist men do not like to see women who are confident in themselves. They get their self esteem from being able to control the way women live. It’s the same way for women with internalized misogyny. They have been conditioned to think that their lives revolve around men. It bothers them to see that there are women who refuse to live that way.

I noticed that the more popular Megan Thee Stallion gets the more hate she receives from men especially. They seem to be intimidated by her being her. Megan is educated, attractive, talented, and sexually liberated. Anyone who has been following her knows that she has an unshakable confidence. Sexist men see women as one-dimensional beings. Our lives revolve around what role we play in theirs. We’re either the “hoe” or the “good girl”. These men would be okay slut shaming her as an Instagram model or video vixen. They see those women as insecure and seeking validation from men. They would be okay if she was an MC Lyte or Rhapsody, a female rapper who doesn’t focus much on her sexuality with a tomboyish look. Both talented female rappers who do not present themselves as sexual beings, so their sexuality doesn’t intimidate men. Or maybe the Michelle Obama type, an educated woman who presents herself in a “classy” light. But men cannot fit Megan Thee Stallion into any one-dimensional, sexist bubble and that bothers them. She is also unbothered by society’s standards of what a woman should be. They can’t control how this woman lives so they spread hate towards her.

This applies to other sexually liberated female rappers as well. For example, Cardi B and City Girls. Their lyrics piss off misogynistic men and women with internalized misogyny. They are bothered by women who focus on their sexuality. But they aren’t bothered by a society that focuses on a woman’s sexuality. Male rappers have used the sexuality of women for decades. Rapping about women’s bodies and what they would do to them sexually. Video vixens in every single music video. But there’s an issue when a woman decides to talk about her own sexuality especially in the unapologetically raunchy way the City Girls and Cardi B do. Women are not allowed to be sexual on their own terms. Their lyrics appeal to the sexuality of women, not men. They rap about manipulating men for money the same way men brag about manipulating women for sex. Yet they are the ones being called bad role models and not the hundreds of misogynistic rappers.

I feel that this is the same reason men and women with internalized misogyny are bothered by Instagram models. These women can capitalize solely on their sexuality and misogynists are threatened by this. For centuries men have used our sexuality for their benefit. Society conditions us to believe that a woman’s sexuality is only for the enjoyment of men. Instagram models capitalize off male thirst which is easy to attract, and men know this. They love to ask these girls what they offer besides their looks as if men don’t base a woman’s worth on their attraction to her. They spend their time thirsting over their Instagram pictures while complaining about them. Instagram models are sexy and aren’t afraid to show off their bodies. They don’t respond to the sexist threats of, “You’ll never find a husband acting like that.” Insecure men can’t shame these women into living by their standards. Women with internalized misogyny are bothered by them because they won’t confirm to the standards of men the same way they do. These misogynistic women live their lives based on impressing men and are angered to see Instagram models impress them in such a “demeaning” way.

It’s 2019, not the 1800's. Ladies if you want to express your sexuality, then do it. If you want to be modest, then be that. Do not base how you live your lives on what men want. Our lives are about us and no one else. If a man doesn’t like the way you are then he is not the one for you. And that’s okay. Our lives do not revolve around impressing men. If they can do what they want, then so can we.

Added a post  to  , sexism

Like most of you, I was shocked with the election results. Election night, my stomach turned with the almost immediate realization that Hillary wasn't winning this thing. For the next few days and sleepless nights, I struggled to come to grips with fundamental questions about what I thought I knew about my country.

  • For all the division and rancor, for the institutionalized racism and vast economic inequality, wasn't there at least some modicum of decency that would preclude people with any sense of goodness about themselves to vote for a blatant xenophobic racist?
  • How could 53% of white women voted for a misogynist who brags about sexual assault and has acted like the skeevy guy you ran from your whole life?
  • Wasn't it just eight years before that I was jubilant in the Obama victory which seemed like a rebuke of pre-emptive war and a small step of progress towards ending racism?

Hillary was not a candidate I was excited about given her embrace of neoliberal economics and overly hawkish foreign policy, but Good Lord. Compared to the alternative of a Trump Presidency, this seemed like a no brainer.  People aren't stupid generally. This isn't about intelligence, it is about hardened hearts. People vote against their interest when fears and prejudices are played upon in ways that reject others humanity.

For all my personal reckoning about this election, I am still a person of tremendous privilege. In comparison, some of my black friends say to me, "I'm scared. Half of the country literally hates me." Undocumented mothers share their fears of being ripped from their children at any moment. Indeed, many parents have been. In the days leading up to election, my brother, who came out about 7 years ago, was door knocking for HRC and a couple of Trump guys drove by yelling "Go Trump, you Faggot!" There have been racial shootings. The displays of anti-Semitism in the blooming of swastikas and the making of bomb threats to Jewish institutions strikes a unsettling fear into our society. In a new turn for my white self, I fear what my Latinos kids now face as other Latino kids are being yelled at "Build the Wall" and "go home". We've seen similar hate against an Asian American kids and certainly seen a good deal of scorn and hate directed at Muslims.

America. In 2017. Racism. Xenophobia. Antisemitism. Islamophobia. Misogyny. Homophobia.

Yes, economics of white working class folks is a huge set of issues that must be addressed. But don't fool yourself, racism never went away and remains one of the major drivers of political activity including voting. Dehumanizing others is again en vogue. Trump has brought lots of ugliness out of the woodwork and into the open. Education and economic dislocation are real issues but how do you get a working class white person to vote against their own economic interest? Gin up racism and xenophobia. Talk about those immigrants taking your jobs. Get tough on those black protesters. Speak English! Ban Muslims because they might be terrorists. Terrorists! This old playbook has been around a long time. We thought we might just be past some of this because we had a black President. Stupid of us.

Turning this around in any sense will be difficult, especially with another round of supply side (tax cuts for the rich) economic policy that actually created much of the inequality in the first place. We are going to have to do two things at once: engage white working folks in a way that takes their legitimate economic concerns seriously while addressing and not tolerating hate.  We will need to reset the economic discourse through economic education measures that build support for unionization, living wages, universal health care and tuition free college. We also need to hold folks accountable for dehumanizing someone based on their sexual orientation, race, religion, gender or country of origin. Yes, I want your vote. But I’m not going to tolerate hatred and dehumanization in any form in order to get that vote.  

More to come...

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